This is a continuation of my post on Parents and about having a favourite among their kids. Following the premise established by the previous topic you must know that;
Having a favourite can breed or spark up negative energies among children with little or no knowledge of their parents. This negative catalyst has the capacity to wreck relationships and ongoing communication among the growing children.
Here are the dangers:
1} HATRED: Hatred is one of the most destructive energies that can be found among children, do not allow this under your roof. Siblings may hate themselves when they discover that you love or prefer the other more than them. When one starts feeling unloved and unwanted, hate sets in and this could degenerate to something worse if not handled properly. When your children don't love themselves, then you have started failing as a parent!
2} JEALOUSY: Siblings jealousy is a negative energy you shouldn't allow to penetrate your household. It leads to unhealthy rivalries and unnecessary competitions. And this could be carried over to adulthood. Believe me this will not help much at the end.
3} SIBLINGS FIGHTS: Having obvious favorites among kids can lead to Incessant fights and this is the most dangerous of all the disadvantages. This fight could transcend the boundaries of childhood up to adulthood.
Today we have numerous grown up adults who are siblings from same parents, but they can't tolerate each other for more than 30 good minutes in same place. Pathetic right?
Some siblings can't even remember the last time they spoke to their brothers and sisters. Some can't even remember the last time they visited the family home to see all the family members including their aging parents. To some it's several decades now.
4} DAMAGED PSYCHOLOGY: A child could grow up with a debilitating psychology that his or her father or mother doesn't really like or love him or her. This is one of the reasons the society has produced greater numbers of mentally depressed youths today. We're talking about preferential treatment here.
5} DISRESPECT: Most preferred children are not robots. Most definitely, they will know that they are more loved than the others and they can abuse that underserved and unnecessary privilege by disrespecting the other children. Knowing full well you will find a way to defend him or her in most scuffles. It is even worse if the favourite is much younger. This will be breeding prospective troubles in your household.
6} DISUNITY/DISHARMONY: Having a favourite causes disunity and disharmony among siblings. Some siblings today are arch-enemies which is not healthy both for family development. This should be discouraged by all means!
Here are some practical parenting solutions that will help;
▪As a parent you have to be EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT in all ramifications. Treat your children equally, the stubborn ones should be understood, cared and catered for, the humblest, quietest children should be encouraged.
▪That a child is intelligent, brilliant or smart shouldn't make him or her superior in your heart or at home. Rather help the other child who is not as intelligent nor smart to rise too, keep correcting him or her in love, never you give up on him or her.
▪Understand every child's strength and love him or her from that perspective of his or her strength, weaknesses should be improved. There's always something to love in every one of them. Because children are unique in different ways.
▪A child's easy-going dispositions shouldn't necessitate any preference within the household.
▪Equality is an attribute of a CONSCIENTIOUS PARENTING!
As you can see the effects of having a favourite among your children could be devastating. Do all kids a favour!
Do you have any experience concerning the dangers of having a favourite or practical solutions? Please share with us at the commentary section
Cheers.
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