Many parents make these wrecking mistakes a habit without knowing its implications on their children. Every parent is first a human at such has personal ambitions and dreams aside the responsibility of taking care of the kids.
Indeed a parent might in the past had one ambition or the other at some point in life, but these dreams did not crystallize as expected due to the prevailing life's circumstances that was beyond ones control at that point in life. Moving on in life now, the parent still nurse these aborted dreams and ambitions secretly within the heart. The parent may want it so badly for his or her kid to redeem that lost hope for his or her dreams that sometimes this drive make such a parent to become aggressive.
As soon as the child came of age, the parent may start entreating him or her to pick up life paths and patterns- especially one that had similarities with the aborted dreams and ambitions-which the child naturally may not have interest in, nor wants to pursue.
When the child disobeys his dad's or mum's directives based on the choices made for him or her, the parent may tag it as an insubordination thus, may start threatening the child to bend.
Life is a journey of discovery and rediscovery. It is very healthy to allow your kids to make choices; let them choose the paths they want to walk on when they are of age to make such choices or decisions. It's a parent responsibility to guide them while they make these choices, don't enforce any choice made by you on them.
When one enforces his or her will on a child forcefully, one might end up producing an unhappy young men and women, who in the future will regret ever listening or obeying his or her parent whenever they remember the past.
Some parents make it habitual of blaming their kids for their aborted dreams and ambitions, particularly kids had out of wedlock. Blaming children affects them emotionally and psychologically; it creates a by product of a damaged child. Reason why some children have low self esteem today!
You hear some parents say things like these -"If not because I got pregnant then, and I had to drop out of the University, by now I should have been a chattered accountant, probably with the CBN or World Bank."
"Look at the type of car Jane drives around, is not as if she is more intelligent than me, that dullard! She overtook me because you came and I became disoriented; my life was practically a mess and I had to quit my good job at the Guinness thereafter-One Mistake I will keep on regretting for the rest of my life"
" Why did you come to me? when I am almost close to leaving this country, for the United States of America. My Visa was set, I was close to traveling out with Kennedy. Look at Kenny today, He is a Don in the business and financial world.
Because of you I had to stay back in the country to man up my responsibility as a father"
I Regret Marrying your Mum!
I Regret saying yes to your Dad!
I Regret coming into this God forsaking family!
These among others are some of the words some parents hurl and use on their children.
Does the above statements ring a bell?
Some parents say a lot of these things without knowing it affects a child's psychology immensely. Hundreds of children out there pass through this psychological stress everyday and it's on the rise globally.
When a child senses that he or she is unwanted, one may automatically lose that child's allegiance and obedience since he or she was not wanted in the first place.
As a parent saying things like these aforementioned at home could lead to devastation. If you got issue with your spouse go into the room and settle the issues privately or better still, keep it to yourself. Stop expressing your frustration in front the children, it damages their psychology. Transferring bitterness and aggression on them won't help at the end.
Learn how to control your feelings and outbursts in front of your kids. Shouting and yelling doesn't give effect to anything, it doesn't solve any problem either.
Family is priceless, love your spouse and children regardless of their nature and character. Turn your family into that Ideal family you want and dream of.
Cheers.
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